


Hard to Say

by tahitianmangoes



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Arthur Morgan Lives, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tahitianmangoes/pseuds/tahitianmangoes
Summary: Arthur made coffee in the morning because Charles isn't a morning person. Neither is Arthur, but he had to get used to the fact that he couldn’t be useful in the ways he was accustomed to.No longer could he work, not in the way he could before. His health didn’t allow for it and besides, he’d promised Charles that he won’t fall back into his old ways. After all, this is their new start.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	Hard to Say

Arthur doesn't say _I love you_ , not in words anyway. Whenever he's said it in the past… Well things never lasted and he didn't want to lose what he had here with Charles; their pretty little homestead up in the hills, beflowered meadows all the eye could see, reaching the slow moving river at the base.

Arthur made coffee in the morning because Charles isn't a morning person. Neither is Arthur, but he had to get used to the fact that he couldn’t be useful in the ways he was accustomed to.  
No longer could he work, not in the way he could before. His health didn’t allow for it and besides, he’d promised Charles that he won’t fall back into his old ways. After all, this is their new start. 

So he made coffee in the cold mornings, brewing it in the percolator while he looked out of the window into the misty morning, sun hardly risen yet and thought about how different life was now and how much more calm and _happy_ he was, too. All of that, everything that happened not just that last year but the twenty before that suddenly seemed like a strange dream that he’d awoken from now and his life has finally begun..

Charles woke a short while after Arthur and began to ready himself for his day. He wrapped his cold, large hands around the steaming mug and sighed, inhaling the bitter scent of the coffee before drinking thankfully.  
Before he left for the lumber yard, he kissed Arthur on the side of his mouth just like he did every day. “I love you,” he told Arthur.  
“Me too,” came Arthur’s reply. He watched Charles mount up on Taima and leave. She was getting old and some evenings, Charles took a little more time brushing and talking to her.

While Charles was gone, Arthur worked hard around the homestead. They had bought it just before the winter had set in and what a harsh winter it had been; snow storms were more frequent up north to the point where some days, they couldn’t even open their front door due to the amount of snowfall. But now spring was here, the temperatures weren’t so bad and there’d been some thaw.  
The homestead wasn’t too big but it was big enough for the both of them. They were lucky that it had some furniture already - a bed, a table, some chairs, cupboards and a bath. Outside was a bench that had seen better days and a bird table that attracted bluebirds from time to time when Arthur remembered to put feed onto it.  
When Charles wasn’t working, he set about trying to craft some more furniture pieces with lumber he was able to take from work but he was often too tired in the evenings (the lumber yard was honest work but it was hard work) and made little progress. Arthur hadn’t the patience. 

Arthur took the trip into town on his old nag that he’d bought for cheap from some stables on the way up here - Taima couldn’t handle both of them the whole way. The nag wasn’t the fastest or the strongest, not even the bravest but there was something about the look in her eye, a tenacity that called to Arthur and he hadn’t the heart to trade her in now for the champagne coloured thoroughbred that had caught his eye in the stables in town...

Arthur stopped by the post office to order curtains for the windows of the homestead that rattled like they’re trying to break free of their frames when the wind blew too harshly. He also bought paint for the homestead’s exterior, the place could do with freshening up if they were going to be living there from now on.  
By the time Arthur returned home from town, it was already late afternoon. Arthur was not much of a cook but he boiled the beets that grew on the land they now owned and grilled meat upon Charles’s return. He listened to Charles talk about his day, how he worried that soon there’ll be less trees and more people. 

Later that night, he massaged between Charles's trap muscle and his shoulder that he had seen him rubbing at the past few days. Charles moaned softly, sighing and leant into Arthur. His breathing became deep and slow, arms slung low around Arthur’s waist.  
“I love you so much,” Charles murmured sleepily.  
“Me too,” came Arthur's reply.

****

Arthur woke early and made coffee again. Charles drank appreciatively and left for work,  
“I love you.”  
“Me too.”

Arthur began by fixing the fencing that had blown down in the storms over winter. It took him longer than he thought - it was gone midday when he stopped for a break and he hadn’t even finished half of what he wanted to do. It was harder than he expected too, he resented the fact that not all that long ago, he would have been fit enough to do all of this without barely breaking a sweat. Now he felt exhausted.

He ate beans and bread, throwing the crusts to the dog they’d adopted from an old lady whose homestead was at the bottom of the hill, said she couldn't take care of him anymore and was either gonna set him free or shoot the poor thing.  
“He’d be eaten by wolves if he was let free…” Charles had said, looking at the cream coloured labrador.  
“Then… maybe we can keep him?” Arthur said hopefully, trying to hide his boyish excitement but Charles could see that Arthur’s now so often pale cheeks were rosy.  
Charles had smiled warmly. “I don’t see why not.”  
The dog’s name was Scout. Arthur liked that name. 

Scout followed Arthur to a quiet spot at the river at the bottom of the hill; it was long and winding, wrapping itself around the hill and beyond, through the town and into the sea, Arthur supposed. Arthur spent the rest of the afternoon fishing. He'd never been brilliant at it but they needed to save money, they’d used what little they had left on the homestead and catching his own fish for dinner seemed was definitely one way of keeping costs down. Charles had said they needn’t worry about money, he earned enough at the lumber yard. Arthur knew that they couldn't afford to get complacent, it wasn't as if they could rob a bank or a train any more...

Arthur caught several bluegill and fried them with potatoes. The bluegill ended up a little more _well done_ than Arthur intended but Charles didn’t reference it. 

“The fence is looking good” Charles told him as they sat at the small table to eat. Darkness had fallen now.  
“Still got a way to go,” Arthur replied.  
Charles smiled weakly, “don’t push yourself too hard, you gotta take it easy.”  
“Charles-”  
“Arthur.”  
Charles reached across the table and linked their fingers. “Arthur. _You have to take it easy. The doctor said._ ”  
“I… I know, I just feel so useless…You’re out working and I’m…. I’m useless.”  
“You aren’t, Arthur.” Charles’s handsome face broke into a warm smile as their eyes met and his sparkled like deepest brown jewels in the lamplight, “I love you.”  
“Me too.”

****

The next day it rained and Arthur fixed the wonky shelf above his and Charles's bed that had been bothering him for weeks. He pumped water so that when Charles got home, muddy and tired from work, he could bathe. 

Charles flushed when he saw that Arthur had drawn a bath for him, Arthur had bought soap in town the other day too.  
“You didn’t have to-” Charles began to say but Arthur was already stripping him down, saying something about him catching a cold if he stayed in his wet clothes a moment longer.  
Arthur hung the clothes in front of the fire where Scout lay curled up asleep. Arthur went back to Charles, scrubbing the wide expanse of Charles’s back.  
“Can I?” He asked Charles, reaching up to run a hand through his silky, raven coloured hair.  
Charles nodded, leaning forward to allow Arthur to wash his hair.  
“What did I do to deserve you?” Charles asked after Arthur rinsed the soap from his hair. He leaned back in the tub that was almost comically too small for him.  
He caught Arthur’s hand and traced soothing circles mindlessly onto his skin.  
“I ask myself the same thing about you, Mr Smith.”  
Charles chuckled softly, “I love you, Arthur.”  
Before Arthur has chance to respond, Charles had pulled him in for a kiss.

****

The rain cleared the next day. Arthur rode the old nag into town to collect the curtains and a few other supplies he’d ordered. Once again, he returned home by late afternoon. He hung the curtains, they were thick and enough to keep the cold out. Charles smiled when he saw them.  
“It feels more homely now.” He commented.  
Arthur thought so too, however, he had come to the realisation a long time ago that home was wherever Charles was. 

The paint Arthur had bought was duck egg blue. He painted the outside of the homestead with it, it took three days. The weather thankfully stayed fair. Arthur didn’t think painting a small homestead would take so long but it did. He managed to get paint all over his shirt and trousers and his boots, too.  
“It looks great,” Charles told him when he returned on the third day looking tired.  
“It… it’s the first time I’ve ever had a real home.” Arthur said, stepping back to take a look at his handy work “I wanted it to look pretty.”  
“It does.” Charles replied, slipping his arm around Arthur. "Thank you."

Charles spent the rest of the night outside with Taima and Arthur fell asleep in front of the fire with Scout. He woke up when Charles came back in and pressed a kiss to his forehead.  
“It’s late,” he said gently, “come to bed.”  
Arthur got up, bleary eyed and stumbled over to the bed where he and Charles intertwined and Arthur breathed in his scent, woody and warm.  
“I love you,” Charles told him.  
Arthur mumbled something unintelligible in response, he felt Charles comb his fingers tenderly through his hair and he slept soundly. 

The next day was Saturday and Arthur ended up sleeping in. He awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sun streaming in through the curtains.  
Charles was outside, he didn’t work the weekend. Arthur found him by the small lean to where they kept the horses.  
“You’re up early,” he said, “you should sleep more.”  
“I wanted to finish something up.”  
“Oh?”  
“You've been working so hard on the house… I wanted to do something too.” Charles produced a wooden sign that had the words _”Bluebird Meadow”_ carved into it. “House gotta have a name, right?”  
Arthur nodded, smiling down at it. “Feels so real now.”  
“Is that good?” Charles asked hesitantly.  
Arthur lovingly traced the letters that Charles had carved into the wood. “Yeah.” He looked back up at Charles, the man he loved more than the day was long and the night was dark, “I… I don’t say it enough but I… I…”  
Charles nodded, “I know you do,” he said with a smile. “And I love you too.”

They hung the sign outside the house. Their house. Their new life together.


End file.
